I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize