im drinking this country out of the recession.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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