I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
