Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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