we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
