Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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