I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
