Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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