and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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