You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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