his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
