How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
