I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My life is pants optional.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
