just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
