How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
