but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
