the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize