Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
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she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
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I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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