Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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