Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
