No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
