i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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