I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
