She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
