dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
