Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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