when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
When are your genitals available?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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