i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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