i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
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we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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