Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
do nipples grow back?
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