What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
