He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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