She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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