you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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