i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
