Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
