You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
