i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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