I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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