you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
