I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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