Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
