It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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