Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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