I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Sacagawea was the original milf.
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I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
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I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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