I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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