She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
