Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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