Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
