i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
