I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
