It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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