i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
