theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
