his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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