Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
50% drunk capacity currently
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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