Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
