Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
