I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
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You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize