it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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