he wants to bone in the snuggie
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
