Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
