did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize